


I Can't Believe How Much I'm Not Sick Of You

by futuretrapqueen



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 06:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4294053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuretrapqueen/pseuds/futuretrapqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo's never seen The Lion King. Cristiano is insulted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can't Believe How Much I'm Not Sick Of You

**Author's Note:**

> I mean, *spoiler alert* I guess if you've never seen The Lion King, but it's been out since 1994 people. Get with it !!!
> 
> Love you all ;)

"Babe, seriously? Your name is fucking _Lionel_ Messi and you've never seen the Lion King?"

They were in Cristiano's kitchen waiting, rather impatiently, for the bag of popcorn to finish in the microwave.

After hours of arguing over what movie they were going to watch, - Cristiano was desperate to see the latest Nicholas Sparks adaptation, Leo, though, would rather die - Cristiano had mentioned a handful of Disney films ...

None of which Leo had ever seen.

"We're fixing this right now." Cristiano said with conviction. He grabbed the popcorn out of the microwave and dragged Leo into the living room.

~

"Bad parenting."

"What?"

"Hanging your newborn baby over the side of a cliff. That's bad parenting."

"Okay, first of all that 'cliff' you speak of is Pride Rock and second of all, that right there is the King, Queen and Prince of the motherfucking pride lands! They can do whatever the fuck they want, Leo. Stop being a hater."

~

"Well, that was expected."

"Leo ..."

"It's been obvious since the beginning that Mufasa was going to die."

"Babe, seriously?"

"I mean how else were they going to move the story along?"

"You're really ruining this for me right now, you know that?"

"I'm sorry, _mi corazón_ , I just don't care enou - "

"No. NO! Do NOT finish that sentence."

" ... "

~

"Babe, we are Timon and Pumba."

"Which one of us is Timon?"

"You are, babe."

"So ... You're just willing to be Pumba?"

"Yup."

"Really?"

"Really, Leo."

"Why?"

"Because I just love you that much Leo."

"Oh my God ...."

~

"Cris ..."

" ... "

"Cris, are you crying?"

"No ..."

"Cris are you seriously fucking crying?"

"Look at there love, Leo! Look at Simba and Nala's love!"

"Cris. Jesus Christ it's a fictional movie."

"SHUT UP LEO! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE INCAPABLE OF FEELING THE LOVE TONIGHT DOESN'T MEAN OTHER PEOPLE CAN'T!"

~

"Cris, I can't take much more of this ..."

"He's about to take back his home, Leo. He's living up to his potential and becoming everything his father ever wanted him to be!"

" _Mi corazón_ ..."

"If you watch the rest of the movie without bitching I'll let you fuck me."

"... yeah?"

"Uh huh."

"Well then ... Go, Simba, go."

"Good boy."

~

"Wasn't it perfect, Leo? Wasn't it everything you hoped it would be!"

"Sure, babe."

"What a fucking story! What a coming-of-age tale!"

"Stand up, Cris."

"What? Why?"

"You said th - "

"That if you kept quiet I'd let you fuck me. Yes, but I didn't say right NOW, did I?"

"Cris that's not even kind of funny. Or fair for that matter."

"Well ... It's the circle of life, Leo."

"Don't you dare ..."

"... _and it moves us aaaaalllllllllll_."

"Cris for fuck sake."

" ... _through despair and hooooope_."

"Cris I'm not fucking kidding ..."

"... _through faith and looooove_."

"Cris what are you doing ... CRIS, FUCKING PUT ME DOWN!"

"... _'till we find our plaaaaaace_."

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE REPERCUSSIONS IF YOU DROP ME, CRIS?! THIS IS MY CAREER YOU'RE FUCKING WITH!"

"... _on the path unwindinggggggg_."

"Honestly, I don't even know what to do with you right now."

"... _in the Ciiiiiiiiiircle_."

"I hate you so much."

" ... _the Ciiiiiiiircle of Liiiiiiiiiiife_."

" ..."

" ..."

" ...."

"Babe?"

"What, Cris."

"Have you ever seen Mulan?"

 


End file.
